You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
