it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize