this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
