Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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