I'm really into asian looking animals
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
