Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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