My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize