Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
