I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize