I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
