sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
