Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
