did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
