Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
