A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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