I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
