Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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