i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize