new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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