just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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