It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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