So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
