Do vagina's smell?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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