Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
