Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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