So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
