you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
that is very illegal...i love you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
