im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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