Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
