They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize