Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
