Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
