help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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