this beer tastes like vomit already
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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