yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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