what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
