He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
