Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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