she was so not down for the gang bang
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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