I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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