i think i have herpe
just one?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize