One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
