No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
