so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
