you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it glows. i had to have it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
