Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
