Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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