We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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