another moral hangover. fuck.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
