The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
