Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize