If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
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