im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
