i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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