All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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