After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
