This is not my ceiling
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize