he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
