I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
