So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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